The Day Before The Eve
2004-12-23 @ 10:56 a.m.
Christmas is my favorite time of the year. My favorite holiday, everything.
Yet, Christmas is also the hardest time of the year.
This morning out of the blue I just sort of started crying, something I feel entirely lame for. I looked at all the decorations and the little tree we have up with all of the orniments we've gained over the years. All of a sudden things just became really sad.
This will be the third Christmas without my dad. True, we spent yesterday evening together, but the air was tainted with the realization that Christmas, or any other holiday for that matter, will never be the same. I still remember when he and my sister moved out four days before Christmas, yesterday to be exact.
Oh well, there isn't any point in dwelling on it, even if the whole ordeal just makes the event a bit more depressing then usual.
Last night we drove down Michigan Avenue, and State Street, all throughout the city of Chicago. The city is most beautiful during Christmas, the lights are everywhere, people from all around the world are spending time with loved ones, it's just a very surreal scene to be a part of.
Last night made me realize that whenever I picture myself in the future, I'm always set in Chicago. My job, my family, my friends, it's all set in Chicago. I don't think I could ever leave the city and not regret the decision, or miss it immensely.
Today I am going to go buy last minute gifts for friends, and perhaps have a movie night this evening. I need to shower too. :-P
Tomorrow night my mom wants us with her, but she's going to go last minute shopping with my brother too.
On Sunday I am going to be with my David. :-)
On Monday my sister Dana, niece Miranda, and nephew Christopher will be at the house to exchange gifts and just hang out.
On Tuesday I'm going shopping with my dad because he offered and I want new boots.
Everything else is up in the air.
I just wish winter break could last forever.
-SaM
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To All Of Ye Good Men - 2005-03-13
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