Even Clowns Have To Be Serious Sometimes
2005-01-11 @ 10:10 p.m.
Everyone pray for Angela's friend Flow to come visit her soon.
I feel very thoughful this evening.
Last night I had a dream, and Angela and I were sitting on a bench at an empty park. Only, there were two little kids playing in the park, a boy and a girl. The girl had long brown hair and the boy had this curly blond thing going on. Angela and I were just sitting there, watching them play and not talking. There were clouds and it looked as if it was going to snow soon, as we were all wearing puffy winter coats. I could see my breath. Then I woke up.
Tonight I made the move and called my dad to see if he wanted to go to Portillos, but he didn't get home from work until late, and the weather is going to be bad for the next week or so. He says he might pick me up sometime this weekend and we can go then. I don't know what posessed me to call him, but I have a hunch that it had something to do with my intense hunger.
My body is basically telling me that I do a crappy job of taking care of it right now. I have bruises all over, I keep coughing, I'm always cold(hence the hoodie wearing daily, and the fact that I absolutely adore it), and I'm constantly sleepy. Now, normally the sleepy thing wouldn't worry me because I'm usually tired anyway, but lately I've been doing very well at staying awake. I mean, I've been up late everynight this year and I haven't had very many focusing problems at school. Maybe I'm just having a hard time staying awake because I've got a cold, that has to be it.
Natalya and Greg make me smile. Seeing them both so happy makes me feel like there are some light hearted but emotionally connected relationships out there. They both beam when they talk or hear about one another. I don't know, it's just cute.
I'm tired of everything in my life being so serious. Sometimes I just want to runaway and join the circus or something. Then again, I suppose even clowns have to be serious sometimes.
I keep telling myself that after high school, I'll be okay, but there are no guarentees that it's the truth. Sometimes I just get scared about everything, I worry too much.
Oh well, my goal for this week is to be happy, and I've made it through to Tuesday, only five more days to go. :-P
Smile.
-SaM
Last 5
Cool Kids, They Belong Together - 2005-03-16
Sleep Soundless - 2005-03-14
The Best Thing I Need - 2005-03-14
To All Of Ye Good Men - 2005-03-13
The Black Label Society are Blasting My Ears So Good - 2005-03-11