Work
2005-01-14 @ 2:48 p.m.
You expect me to exercise my sympathy on you, when you did and are doing it to youself.
Is it just me, or is the new Used video(haha, New-Used) a direct reference to A Clockwork Orange? I think it is! I believe the glimpse of the bunny rabbit might just be a nod towards a Flaming Lips video. Oh! And the drawing could possibly of been done by Billy Martin of Good Charlotte. That's just a few guesses though, all from watching the video.
Personally, I like the new Sum41 video better. The new Jimmy Eat World 'Work' video kicks all other new video genre's ass though.
Is it just me, or does it seem that all of the bands that were huge a few years ago have become more aware, but sad at the same time? I remember when Sum41 came out with 'Fat Lip' and were all smiles, all of the time. Their music was politically aware but hopeful and despite the singer's overtures, happy. Now, after their 'War Child' project, and critical slamming, all of their music is about despair and false faith. Maybe they've just grown up, I don't know. Either way it's interesting to see how these bands develope before our eyes.
I don't want to go to Greg's house and watch movies tonight. Not, because I don't want to be around Natalya, Vince, Greg, Sam, and Angela. Rather, because I don't want to be around the couples Natalya & Greg, and Angela & Sam. It's so uncomfortable in that situation, with just Vince and I as the singles. Not to mention boring to watch your friends make out for a couple of hours, I just don't see the point. It'd be different if we were going out to hang somewhere else, even though it's too cold out for that. Maybe I'm just being cranky.
Sometimes I wonder why I worked so hard to get everyone together. To bring the left out in. Now it seems like I'm always the left out one. Not so much with Greg and Natalya, because I spend time with them alone equally, and we still talk all the time. Their togetherness is cute to see, because I can see on their faces how happy they are. We can still all hang out together too. With Angela and Sam, it's different though. Angela is my best friend, but it seems that when I'm with her, Sam's with us. When I'm with Sam, Angela's with us. When I talk to either of them, it's always about the other one. I'm excluded in most things, and sometimes that makes me sad.
I remember when Sam used to come over and we'd be able to talk about serious things and goof off and watch movies and just be friends. I also remember when Angela and I could do the same. Now, everything is constantly trivial, and I have to fight them to keep them from liplocking. Whenever I'm with the two of them I'm left out in most ways, and it just creates an unpleasant environment.
I don't know, I'm just being a jealous brat. I realize that I have to share the guys, that they don't belong to me. Sometimes I just miss when it was just us though, you know? When we would hang out at Vince's together, and they'd try to impress me with their band practice, and homemade movies. I realize that I am the one who broke the barriers, who formed the clique, and I'm proud of that. It's so great to see Angela and Sam happy, and Natalya and Greg, and even Vince. I guess over time it will be easier, I mean, I'm always going to remember those first days we spent together. I guess parting with everything is hard to do at first. I know in the end I'll be happy with the way everything is going to work out.
I do know that my relationship with Dave sometimes brings on a lot of the discomfort. I know that it'd be easier to just go out with Vince, because then the awkwardness would be gone. Only, it's not that easy. I'm in love with Dave, and I can't help that. True, I have silly crushes on older guys and random guys, but while they're fun to have, I understand that I can't let them go too far. I see Vince as my friend, a good friend, a great friend. I do not see him as a boyfriend, I can't. Believe me, I have tried. We just lack the romantic spark.
And with that, I do not know what will go down tonight. Will I go to Greg's? Will Sam and Angela come here? Will I end up at IHOP? Who knows. I don't.
I leave you with this insane ramble of my teenage girl confusion, a ramble that I will most likely regret in the morning, or tonight.
Remember my fellow readers, what I write isn't necessarily how I'll feel in twenty minutes.
-SaM
Last 5
Cool Kids, They Belong Together - 2005-03-16
Sleep Soundless - 2005-03-14
The Best Thing I Need - 2005-03-14
To All Of Ye Good Men - 2005-03-13
The Black Label Society are Blasting My Ears So Good - 2005-03-11