The White Trash Connection
2005-02-07 @ 12:12 a.m.
My sister is upstairs in her room screaming at her boyfriend because he's accusing her of cheating on him.
How charming.
Anyway, I'm listening to Social Distortion now. They just make me feel whole and happy and like I belong to some sort of genre in this crazy world. I always have a friend in Social Distortion. Mike Ness's crooning will always be waiting for me when I am down.
Tonight I was thinking about my non-existent style. This was probably because I was watching the 'Runway' show on Bravo. Who knows though.
*Warning* This entry is pointless and boring. It is completely about wardrobe. It is vain and strange. *Warning*
Anyway, I'm all confused when it comes to how I dress and present myself. Let me break it down for you.
Some days I come to school, and I have baggy black pants on, a baggy black t-shirt and my hair all messy. Sometimes, those are the days when I feel most confident in myself, until I get home and look in the mirror and think 'Who would talk to this!?'
Otherdays I have tight blue jeans on with a tank top and overshirt on, and my hair straightened. Sometimes, those are the days when I feel most scrutinized, like people look at me and just know I'm dressed wrong. Then I get home and think 'You are not tiny enough to be wearing that, lose twenty.'
Occasionally I'll wear a skirt and a pretty top and feel fabulous. I'll get attention and feel pretty and be happy. Then I go home and feel accomplished, but wish that people would find me pretty on any other day.
I go from this punk rock girl with classic band t-shirts, to this indie-chick with tight jeans and an odd top ensamble, to a goth-rocker with black on from head to toe, to the typical metalhead girlfriend outfit with a band t-shirt and tight pants, to your average Jane girl outfit. This random change in style is most likely why I confuse so many people.
Tonight I sat down and tried to figure out what I am most comfortable wearing, and I couldn't decide. I mean, sure, I'm most comfortable in some baggy pants and a big t-shirt, because I feel tiny and free. At the same time, I feel invisible and unwanted. I may not feel the most comfortable in a skirt and a tight top, but that's when I feel the prettiest. I don't know, it's a toss up.
I dress based on the music I listen to usually, and I try to convey that, even if I often fail. I had a point with this entry but I sort of forgot what it was. I think I wanted to try to talk myself into what my daily style should be, but I can't. I switch daily, based completely on my mood and personality of that day.
I guess I'm just bi-polar when it comes to my dress code.
There will be an interesting entry in the future! I promise.
'Angel's wings won't ya carry me home...
And when you're down on your luck
Hey baby it's a long way up
Hold back now
Hold back your fears
And when you're really down and out
And you feel like there's no way out
Let go now, let go your tears some more..'
-SaM
Last 5
Cool Kids, They Belong Together - 2005-03-16
Sleep Soundless - 2005-03-14
The Best Thing I Need - 2005-03-14
To All Of Ye Good Men - 2005-03-13
The Black Label Society are Blasting My Ears So Good - 2005-03-11