Keep Quiet I Am Listening To Fall Out Boy
2005-03-11 @ 12:10 a.m.
Dave and I are having issues right now. Or, maybe, I am having issues with Dave. Maybe Snowball has given me the confidence to break it off with him. Only, do I need that confidence? I love him, I know I love him, and I know he loves me. But, is he right for me?
He is coming to see me on Saturday, and I told him how on Saturday night we're probably going to be having a mini-Snowball reunion. (I know, six-days after the fact. We couldn't hold out any longer. :-P) He almost never asks me to hang out with his friends, and I never ask him to hang out with them. Whenever I mention meeting my friends he usually finds an excuse out of it. Only, he has suddenly invited himself with us on Saturday night, and, I told him no. It's not because I don't care about him, or because I'm ashamed of him, it is because Snowball is sacred, and I'd be offended if anyone else brought someone. He wasn't there at Snowball, he didn't form the bonds, he has no place at a mini-Snowball reunion.
I know he invited himself because he feels he is losing me, or because he's jealous. Normally I'd want him there more than anything, but, Snowball is just me and those around me who participated in it. This time he has has no place. I didn't mean to hurt his feelings, but I think I might have. I just know that I'm excited about Saturday night because it is for me, and it is for the people I fell in love with over this past weekend, not because my boyfriend will be with me.
Maybe I am making it out to be more than it really is, but I'd rather be making it out to be more than less.
I do know one thing though:
I am going to enjoy myself Saturday night, and it is going to be nice.
I also know another thing:
I will not give into Dave, and, he will go home.
Anyway, on a much brighter note, Papa Roach are coming to town on Sunday May 1st. I'm so excited! I actually have the money for a ticket too, that's going to be a fun show. I know Sam will probably come with, he's my Papa Roach pit buddy, but, perhaps I'll ask some other people to accompany us too.
It is so hard for me right now, to re-assimilate myself into normal society. I am so happy though, and I am so comfortable with myself, the extra work is entirely worth it.
Brynne and I have had flowing conversations for most of the week online, and that's awesome. Today I was extremely tired(and I ended up taking a nap, which is why it's 12:25 in the morning and I am still fully functioning) and a bit more quiet though. Sam T. messaged me and then her and Brynne conversed too! That's three roomie connections I've kept so far(including Brynne and Rebecca.) Jake's locker is right next to mine and so we walked out of school together on Tuesday. Sam see's Alex during the day and so they keep in contact. Maria, Sam T. and Denise eat lunch together or something like that. Fro John and I smile and say 'Hey' to each other in the hallway, it's nice. :-) Mike and I have English together and we randomly have mental intercourse. Tomas and I have English and lunch together so we have some good laughs. :-) Anyway, that paragraph was not to brag, just share excitement.
I will write later. :-)
-SaM
Last 5
Cool Kids, They Belong Together - 2005-03-16
Sleep Soundless - 2005-03-14
The Best Thing I Need - 2005-03-14
To All Of Ye Good Men - 2005-03-13
The Black Label Society are Blasting My Ears So Good - 2005-03-11